When you drop a teabag into hot water, whatever is inside leaks out. The same is true for people and organizations. Pressure doesn’t create your values, it reveals them.
After 30 years of walking with leaders through critical moments , I’ve seen that the “hot water” moments—crisis, conflict, change, loss—don’t define you. They expose what’s already there. The critical moment isn’t the event; it’s how you respond.
Values aren’t the words on a website, framed on a wall or printed in a glossy brochure. They’re the quiet habits that drive how you act when no one is watching. Every organization has two sets of values: the ones we promote and the ones we live. When those two don’t match, it always shows under pressure.
I remember working with a team that claimed integrity as a core value. They said, “We try to tell the truth.” Yet when a tough customer conversation came up, they bent the story to make it sound better. I told them, “You actually do have integrity. You said honesty wasn’t a big deal, and your behavior matches that belief.” Integrity isn’t about perfection; it’s about consistency between what you say and what you do.
The problem is most of us don’t define our values until they’re tested. When we wait until the heat is on, it’s too late. That’s when the shoulda, coulda, wouldas start: “If only I’d talked to them sooner.” “If only we’d agreed on what matters.”
So, how do we prepare before the water boils?
Start by naming your real core values. Then define what they mean to you—not what the dictionary says, but what you mean. Finally, describe what those values look like in real life, especially when things get tense.
For example, if “respect” is one of your values, what does that look like when a client is angry or an employee makes a mistake? If “family” is your value, what does it look like in your calendar or your spending? Your time and your money always tell the truth about your priorities.
Next, test your values with feedback. Ask others how they would describe you or your organization non-physically s. Culture is who you are without words. If there’s a gap between what you say and what they see, you’ve just found your real work.
Hot water moments are coming. They always do. The organizations that finish well aren’t the ones that avoid crisis. They’re the ones that know who they are before it hits.
Because when the heat rises, what’s inside will always leak out. Make sure what leaks out is worth sharing.
