I used to think the rush of daily life was just part of being productive. It was the battle between busyness vs importance. Meetings, emails, deadlines, and the endless push to keep moving forward. But then I noticed something while spending time with my grandkids. My four-year-old grandson kept asking me, “Why, Grandpa? Why?” At first, it was cute. Then it started to test my patience. I realized the frustration wasn’t with him. It was with me. I didn’t always have a good answer.
That moment stuck with me. I saw how quick I was to fall back on “that’s just the way we do it.” The truth is, that answer doesn’t really stand up. It was then I began to see how asking why could be a key to growth.
Why the rush?
Think about your own day. How often are you running from one thing to another, convinced it all has to get done right now or there is something urgent about it? I know I fall into that trap. The problem is, most of what feels urgent isn’t actually important. Stephen Covey’s time management model has always made sense to me: urgent doesn’t mean important. But living it out is harder.
Now, when I catch myself in a hurry, I stop and ask, “Why am I rushing?” More often than not, the reason doesn’t line up with my values. Sometimes I’m racing to a meeting that won’t change much. Sometimes I’m answering an email that could easily wait. By asking why, I can redirect my energy toward what matters most.
Speaking truth without criticism
Here’s another lesson I’ve learned. When I realize I’m rushing for the wrong reason, I don’t beat myself up. I try to tell myself the truth gently. If it’s not important, I say so. That honesty helps me adjust without adding guilt to the mix. The same goes for leadership. When we tell the truth about our own priorities, we give permission for the team to do the same. We stop confusing busyness with progress.
Reframing around values
I’ve also started to reframe conversations around values. If someone says, “We should meet for coffee,” I now ask why. If the reason is, “because we haven’t seen each other in a while,” that can be enough if the relationship itself is important. But if the answer is vague, it tells me the connection may not have much depth or much of importance they’d like to discuss. It’s not about being rude. It’s about making sure the time I spend reflects what is of value.
I learned this in a difficult season when I lost a job. People would suggest meeting up for coffee, but when I asked why, the reality came out. Some just wanted to pass the time. I couldn’t afford that. My priority was finding meaningful work and providing for my family. Asking why made it clear which relationships were genuine and which ones weren’t. In a tragic irony, I also discovered that some people did not take this very well. While they had an income, I needed to work at finding work.
Growth is rarely comfortable
Here’s the truth. Asking why can make you, and them, uncomfortable. It forces you to admit when your actions don’t match your values. It also means making choices others may not like. But every time I’ve pushed through that discomfort, I’ve grown. Looking back, the growth always made the discomfort worth it.
So the next time you find yourself rushing, I challenge you to pause and ask why. It will slow you down in the best possible way. You’ll start to see the difference between what only feels urgent and what is truly important. Over time, that shift changes how you live, how you lead, and how you grow.
